FMLTWIA

Myfoxatlanta.com recently posted a list on Friday of “the top acronyms commonly used on the Internet and in text messages” , stuff parents should be on the lookout for. Sounds like a good article to publish, yeah? Keeping the older generation in the know is good thing, right?

Well, there seems to be a problem. The vast majority of these acronyms appear to be total bs. Who asks their FB to FMLTWIA IF/IB? Don’t know what the means? Don’t worry. Neither does almost every other person on the internet. This article was at least good for a laugh on NeoGAF.

DUM?

Top 50 Internet Acronyms Parents Need to Know:

1. 8 – Oral sex

2. 1337 – Elite

3. 143 – I love you

4. 182 – I hate you

5. 459 – I love you

6. 1174 – Nude club

7. 420 – Marijuana

8. ADR – Address

9. ASL – Age/Sex/Location

10. banana – Penis

11. CD9 – Code 9 – it means parents are around

12. DUM – Do You Masturbate?

13. DUSL – Do You Scream Loud?

14. FB – F Buddy

15. FMLTWIA – F Me Like The Whore I Am

16. FOL – Fond of Leather

17. GNOC – Get Naked On Cam

18. GYPO – Get Your Pants Off

19. IAYM – I Am Your Master

20. IF/IB – In the Front -or- In the Back

21. IIT – Is It Tight?

22. ILF/MD – I Love Female/Male Dominance

23. IMEZRU – I Am Easy, Are You?

24. IWSN – I Want Sex Now

25. J/O – Jerking Off

26. KFY -or- K4Y – Kiss For You

27. kitty – Vagina

28. KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless

29. LMIRL – Let’s Meet In Real Life

30. MOOS – Member Of The Opposite Sex

31. MOSS – Members Of The Same Sex

32. MorF – Male or Female

33. MOS – Mom Over Shoulder

34. MPFB – My Personal F Buddy

35. NALOPKT – Not A Lot Of People Know That

36. NIFOC – Nude In Front Of The Computer

37. NMU – Not Much, You?

38. P911 – Parent Alert

39. PAL – Parents Are Listening

40. PAW – Parents Are Watching

41. PIR – Parent In Room

42. POS – Parent Over Shoulder -or- Piece Of Sh

43. PRON – Porn

44. Q2C – Quick To Cum

45. RU/18 – Are You Over 18?

46. RUH – Are You Horny?

47. S2R – Send To Receive

48. SorG – Straight or Gay

49. TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

50. WYCM – Will You Call Me?

via MyFoxAtlanta.com

Back on the Hablo Tree

The Xbox Live hive mind effect claims yet another victim. In a spur of the moment decision (one I might end up regretting) I bought the Halo 3 Mythic Map pack. I probably should have bothered to check what was actually included in the purchase. How many maps? What do they look like? I jumped in a bit blind, spurred on by Halo3’s re-surging popularity amongst my tiny group of friends (no Danny I don’t think you can borrow my copy now, sorry) and despite vowing to never invest in the game again given how rarely I play it.

Heck, I also bought the last two dlc map packs for Halo 3. What were they called again? Legendary and Heroic? I never got to experience any of their lengendariness, though. I tucked H3 in its case immediately after dropping my points into Microsoft’s purse and barely touched the game again for months. And that’s just silly, isn’t it? At the time I thought the release of the maps would reignite my passion for Halo (and gaming itself), but that didn’t come to pass.

Thankfully this time I’ve got some good folk to hop back into game with. And having been out of the know for so long it’ll almost be like playing a new game! Fun times ahead.

Changing My Inner Hue

The sky is darkening. Clouds are rolling in. I’m idly watching the trees sway, wilder and wilder, while making a mental inventory of all the things I should have done today and did not. It is a disappointingly lengthy list, and one neglected item in particular promises to haunt me for weeks to come. I won’t mention it here. Indeed, I will blot it out of mind and try not to think about it at all. I am really good at that.

This has not been an altogether unproductive week, though. Tuesday night I finished Joseph Epstein’s novel Envy, which is one part of a series examining the seven deadly sins and one of the many philosophical books I have gathered on a wide variety of topics. I have its sister novels Greed and Wrath, but I likely won’t get around to reading those. Their respective topics do not interest me much. I am not a greedy person nor have I ever been given to intense bouts of anger. Envy, it pains me to admit, I can relate to very well.

Epstein begins his investigative journey through the jade forest with a few acknowledgments I found particularly insightful:

“Of the seven deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all. Sloth may not seem much fun, nor anger either, but giving way to deep laziness has its pleasures and the expression of anger entails a release that is not without its small delights. In recompense, envy may be the subtlest—perhaps I should say the most insidious—of the seven deadly sins. Surely it is the one that people are least likely to want to own up to, for to do so is to admit that one is probably ungenerous, mean, small-hearted.”

And so, as I read this and quietly admitted to myself that I regularly tussle with the emotion, I started questioning whether those characteristics fit me at all. Am I ungenerous, mean, and small-hearted? My initial response was an unflagging “no.” But after a few minutes of letting the question permeate I realized the more accurate answer would be “not usually.” I’m not usually small-hearted or mean, but damn if I don’t have my moments where those traits flare up like wildfires. That I am a master at hiding them is only a small consolation. They color my thoughts, if not my actions.

At any rate, you could say I pride myself on being aware of my failings. That I was already taking a renewed stock of my personality within the first chapter of Envy didn’t dispirit me too much. It is impossible to know everything about the world (or perhaps even another individual), but it has been my personal maxim that a person should strive to be as aware of one’s self as possible. That includes the good, the bad, the pretty, the very ugly and the absolutely horrendous.

But owning up to this particular “sin” isn’t something easily done, is it? I would rather be publicly defamed as slothful instead of envious (putting aside the very real possibility that I am guilty of harboring both shortcomings). After all, envy is something of a Rorschach test. What one covets of others says a lot about their character and disposition towards life, and ups the wattage in a part of one’s personality usually kept dim.

Now, if I were Christian I might adopt the mindset that, as a sin, envy is something I should strive to deracinate. St. Paul wrote, “Love does not envy.” And the bible does task us to love thy neighbor, etc etc. But according to Peter Walcott’s Envy and the Greeks, briefly quoted throughout Epstein’s own Envy, the people of ancient Athens saw the emotion as a fact of life; it was an intrinsic part of their view of human nature, a perennial weed that cropped up in relationships “among siblings, among peers, [and] between the common and the prominent citizens.” Instead of trying to suppress it they sought methods to vent it constructively and, in Walcott’s words, “make it slightly less noxious.”

I think I fall much more in line with the ancient Greek’s line of thinking, and I have set out to make this untoward (if nearly invisible) character trait less noxious, less insidious, and less damning. Because Epstein is right; it’s patently no fun being green with envy. After putting down his book I spent a few moments going through all of the things I’ve found myself wishing I possessed that belong to the various people I know, and the introspection left me with an acute awareness of just how much I feel I lack. It was sobering, slightly depressing, and threatened to paralyze me with discouragement. It surely would have a year ago. That it does not now… well, perhaps that is a positive sign I’m of stronger character?

Baby steps?

The Finishing Touches

Well here it is. It may’ve taken all of April and March but I’ve finally settled on a theme for the site. There are a few bugs that still need a’stompin and some work to do here and there. I’m pretty much done, though. This is how Aaronology.net will look for the foreseeable future.

While I would like to say that I am going with this particular design because I was satisfied with it, the truth is I simply grew tired of working on the site. I burned myself out. And it has dawned on me since March that I simply don’t have much of a flair for web design. Yeah, I had a few nifty theme ideas that I wasn’t able to bring to fruition thanks to lack of patience and, hrm… well, talent in PS. This would have bothered me a year ago but I’m well past the point of accepting it. Web/Graphic design doesn’t seem to be my cup of tea.

At any rate, now that things are nearly “done” I’ve deleted all of the test posts and restructured a few of the older entries on this blog (as I have resigned myself to defining it). The few of you who know about this place won’t have to complain about the lorem ipsum texts anymore. I also plan to write full fledged “about” and “credits” pages and re-add the twitter feed to the sidebar (yeah, I tweet) once I’ve made some graphics for it. Work for another day.

In the meantime, a video:

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